When I first committed to going on this trip, I was not sure how I’d feel. I didn’t know everyone on the trip and I wasn’t used to this kind of Israel trip. Thinking now, at the end of the trip, it feels impossible to leave. Socially, this trip has been very different from what I expected. As a group of only ten kids, we grew to feel more comfortable together. Having ShinShinim show up everywhere we go has also been so fun. Getting to know the new ShinShinim, the TeenShinim, former ShinShinim, and even the ones from this previous year has been overwhelming in the best way. Being surrounded by so many Israelis all the time has brought a positive energy to the group. Personally, I feel that my Hebrew knowledge has grown in just these ten days.
Similarly, I have felt connected to HaShem in ways I hadn’t previously experienced. For example, going to the Kotel is always an out of body experience for me. But especially on this trip, I felt connected to everything and everyone around me. Being able to dig deep and literally beg and cry to HaShem really showed me how this trip has made me feel about Israel and our people. Davening with a siddur, a personal note, and the prayers of the people next to me made everything feel stronger.
This would not have been possible if it hadn’t been for the lectures and reflections we have sat through during these ten days. Hearing people talk about their stories and feelings about the war gave us new perspectives to carry with us. Being in Israel during a war, I thought we would be on high alert, possibly experiencing sirens. However, I found myself feeling safer and more comfortable here than I have in the last few months in America. Everyone is going through, thinking, and feeling the same things. This made everything feel more connected and like we were all carrying each other. The difference in the country compared to previous trips is noticeable. Everyone is grieving together, but also commemorating and feeling proud of our nation. The hostage square was a strange experience. It felt unbelievable that this had been here for months now, and there is no way of knowing how long it will stay. Hearing stories, seeing the art, everything felt so surreal. I feel hesitant to leave. Like I can’t leave.
While there were a lot of experiences that felt deep and somber, there was a good balance of emotions. We found a way to see the important things while also experiencing the fun things that you can only really do in Israel. Swimming together at the Sachne, going to the Shuk, and staying at the Kibbutz gave us the authentic Israeli experience. The Kibbutz was amazing to see. Families being so close to each other, everyone being a tight community, was something you couldn’t see Cleveland.
I could write so much about every activity we have done, every feeling we have felt, but nothing could really express how this trip has made me feel. The theme is “home” and I have never felt more at home. I never thought I could feel more connected to Israel than I already was. In just ten days, I have created a bond with the land and the people that I will never lose. If someone asked me if I think they should join icnext, even if they’re thrown off by all the learning, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell them how important this trip is.