When I started on this trip, I don’t think I could have guessed how much this trip would change me not only as a Jew, but also my Israeli identity. I could feel the change the minute we landed. I’ve always felt a connection to this land, but as we arrived into the airport, I started to see the Hebrew signs, as well as the people speaking Hebrew, the kippahs, and just the overall environment and feel of walking in the Jewish homeland. I felt something that I think I will never feel in America. I felt truly comfortable and proud to be Israeli, to have an Israeli passport, and to be able to speak and understand the beautiful language of Hebrew. It is such an amazing feeling to be able to feel truly at home in a place as remarkable as this one, and it’s a feeling I hope everyone can experience one day. I remember smiling, just looking around me in awe, and just feeling content.
I truly felt this on a deeper level with my Jewish identity while we were in Jerusalem. I usually never keep Shabbat back in Cleveland, but I decided to on this trip. I truly just felt close to Hashem, especially being so close to the Old City, and I’m really glad I did. I had an 'out of body' experience of sorts at the Kotel that I genuinely think changed my life. I went up to the wall, placing my note into the cracks of this holy site, and I opened the siddur, intending on looking for the Shma, and I happened to open to my Torah portion coincidentally. I took this as a sign and started chanting under my breath, unconsciously rocking back and forth towards the wall. As I put my hand to the wall, resting my head against it, something washed over me, and I started to cry. It felt like Hashem was right there, talking to me, and I just felt a closeness to both Him and Judaism that I have never felt before. Afterwards, as I was walking backwards intending on leaving the Kotel, a woman who was sitting and praying stopped me and grabbed my hand. She asked in Hebrew why I was crying, and I told her. I told her about how I was praying for my mom especially, and she then started to pray with me, chanting prayers I had never heard before. She then told me how every night I should sit with my mom, and we should talk about the simple things in life that we take for granted, and write them down. She then handed me her business card, and said if I ever needed to i could call her.
Another thing that really stood out to me was that everywhere you go, if you talk to anyone, no one ever forgets the hostages. What I think people don’t realize in America is that in Israel, when one of us is gone, when one of us is in pain, we all are. You could ask a stranger in the shuk and they would be brought to tears simply talking about the hostages, even if they had never met them before. That is something that would never happen in the states, and it just shows how beautiful this country and its people are. These various experiences changed my life, because it made me sure that I want to be here. I want to go to the IDF. I want to raise my kids here. This trip changed my life for the better, and I am truly grateful for all that it gave me.